Grief is strange

Kia ora,

Grief is strange. I’ve had two pets from different sides of the family die in the last few weeks. Both deaths have hit me in different ways.

The cat was my grandma’s. When Grandma died, the cat moved in with Mum. The cat dying felt like the proper goodbye to Grandma, so all the grief from then has bubbled up again.

The dog would visit us and sometimes stay for a sleepover. We bought her a lovely bed that she refused to sleep on. She’d chase tennis balls and only bring them back when she felt like it. Now we have bones in the freezer and no dog to give them to.

I posted an article earlier this year about how writing a travel memoir can be cathartic. I remembered that article after I collected photos of the pets into albums. That has been my catharsis – collecting the photos and remembering where we were and what adventures we were on (more with the dog than the cat. The cat liked backyard adventures; the dog, fishing and swimming adventures).

In that article, I talk about how writing a travel memoir can be a kind of therapy or catharsis. The trip itself can also provide the space needed for that release.

In Adventures with Emilie, Victoria Bruce says, “Maybe if I stayed out here in the wild, I could give myself the space and time I needed to have a good rest before daring to venture deep inside my memory warehouse, sort shit out and begin to heal.”

If you’re writing to process grief, you know how difficult that experience can be. But know that it’s important work, and know that you don’t necessarily have to share that writing. It can be enough just to get it out of your head.

Take care, and give your pets big hugs and lots of treats.

Deborah

PS. I keep forgetting to share the 2025 Banff Mountain Book Competition winners. They were announced a couple of weeks ago. 

A great list of books – definitely check out Thirty Below by Cassidy Randall, winner of the Jon Whyte Award – Mountain Literature (Non-Fiction).

Great to see Aotearoa New Zealand in the winners’ list too! Eden: A Portrait of Mountain Biking in Aotearoa New Zealand by Nick Stevenson won the Mountain Image category.

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📚 What I’m reading

At the weekend I wrapped up Fallen: Everest and the enigma of George Mallory, by Mick Conefrey. It’s a solid, enjoyable read about Everest’s most mythologised climber (along with Sandy Irving). Definitely recommend if you’re keen on Everest lore.

I’m now reading The book of trespass: crossing the lines that divide us, by Nick Hayes. Less travel and adventure, more nature writing, reportage, history, and property law. Really enjoying this book so far. It is challenging my understanding of property and what it means to own land. 

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📅 Availability

I have one space left in December, then I’m booking edits from January.

Grab a free sample edit and lets’s jump on a video call to chat about the editing process.

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